Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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