im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
