the condom got lost in my hair
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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