you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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