Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
