Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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