VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't turn off my feet"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
