Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
