Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize