Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
