Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
