i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
