she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize