Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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