she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
