Where is the hickey?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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