Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
false alarm, still single
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