Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
