people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
