Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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