College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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