if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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