Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
