just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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