when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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