My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
