all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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