We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
