my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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