her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
