A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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