You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The air was thick with penises
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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