That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
