I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
