I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
