She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
