Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
