I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
