just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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