I hate all girls vehemently.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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