i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
