So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
