Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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