what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
