mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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