My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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