They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
