it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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