Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize