So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
