Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
