The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
