Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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