Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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