I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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