i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
