I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
