Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
