Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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