Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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