Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He did a backflip because drugs
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