The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
