I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize