The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
