so explain again why im purple
no
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
