So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
