if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
