Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
