I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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