After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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