did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
