Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
