Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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